How One Mom Learned Boundaries & Grew Confident
Michelle is a military spouse with two young children, like most military wives, managing her husband's constant deployments means she often functions as a single mom. Since Michelle was also a student pursuing her degree her life felt hectic, chaotic, and she felt stressed out. Stress, anxiety, and lack of boundaries riddled her days and left her feeling "frozen" unable to pursue her dreams and chase the life she knew deep down she deserved. With so much of her energy focused on being an amazing mom, she felt insecure about hiring a sitter to keep her children so she could do the things she wanted to do like finish her degree and enter the workforce in her chosen field. Her days were racing past her, while she struggled to figure out what the right move was for her. A desire to stay home with her children, coupled with the need to be available when her husband came home made her feel like the choice was out of her hands.
A Stressed Out "Stuck" Mom
When Michelle first downloaded Sanity & Self she was preparing for her husband's next deployment. Once he left she knew she'd be at home with a newborn and a toddler, and essentially no one to play backup when she needed a break. She knew she needed self-care, she searched Pinterest regularly looking for something that would "lift her up". She'd try new workout routines but they never stuck, or never gave her the boost she needed. She also tried talking to her friends but found they were just unable to understand how chaotic her life felt to her.
At the same time, she was preparing for her internship, which meant for the first time as a mom she needed to hire a babysitter who could reliably and regularly keep her children when she was out of the house. Her life felt like a jumbled mess to her, She needed support in a way that workout routines and confiding in friends just couldn't provide her. She needed a boost to help get her life "unstuck" and into gear.
When I asked Michelle for a photo of her "before" she gave the same response that a lot of moms give. There simply are no pictures of her from that time in her life because she was focused on capturing her children's moments, or of taking those precious photos of her husband waving goodbye when he left them on deployment.
The New Self-Care
At first, like a lot of women & moms, Michelle thought if she could just get some quality sleep everything would magically fall into place. As women we're so chronically tired we think if we could just somehow be not so tired we'd be able to figure out how to make our lives work.
“I loved listening to soothing sounds before bed. But when I clicked on Melanie DewBerry's Be Confident series I immediately thought "This is what I've been needing!"
Michelle says that listening to the confidence series she felt like she'd discovered the missing piece she hadn't even realized had been missing. From there she went on to listen to Melanie's Set Healthy Boundaries series and says she hadn't even realized that boundaries were an important thing in her life, let alone something she'd been lacking before. Now she credits boundaries and confidence with helping her transform into the best version of herself, which also means she's able to be a better wife & mother to those she loves & cares for.
“After I heard those sessions on confidence and boundaries, I realized that I could conquer it all. The newborn, toddler, and my husband being away. That I would be able to leave my kids with someone for just two days a week so I could graduate with my BA. I think it was just a reminder of what I was capable of. Before, I felt lost. As if I did not know where to start and like I was not capable of fending for myself without my husband. I had completely become his wife and their mother and lost Michelle inside there somewhere.”
From Stressed Out to In Control
Since listening to almost 100 Self-Care Audio Sessions Michelle has not only been able to push herself to be more open with those in her life, she's been able to express her wants & needs to her husband in a way she never did before. Such as, letting him know she didn't want to go on a recent family trip and give her reasons why. Before, Michelle admits she would have just gone along begrudgingly and resented the trip. Even though after discussing the trip with her husband she opted to go she feels empowered by the fact she was able to voice her opinion and knows that on future trips she'll have a say in whether or not she goes along or stays home and enjoys some much needed quiet time. Expressing boundaries is new to her and she admits she never fully understood how important it was before but now that she's learned to set healthy boundaries and stay true to her needs and wants, there's no turning back!
Now Michelle credits self-care with her newfound confidence and the fact that she realizes she's allowed to say no to things she doesn't want to do without any explanation. She has an amazing job she truly loves and she's set even new, larger goals to go back to school in pursuit of her real estate license.
“I just feel like I keep pushing myself more and more and I know I can achieve anything!”
From Hanging On to Forging Ahead
Now Michelle is focusing on the future, she's no longer juggling things one-day-at-a-time in survival mode, she's setting goals and dreaming BIG. Michelle's story is so inspiring because it's one that every mother and even every woman can relate to. She lost herself inside her own relationships. She forgot how to be Michelle, and only knew how to be wife & mother whose own dreams sat wilting in the corner while she shined her bright light onto her children and her husband. Now she has dreams and goals that she would never have set for herself a year ago. She wants to enjoy her relationship with her kids, can't wait for them to get old enough to start playing sports so she can help coach their team. She's got big career goals too, she wants to help people find their dream home and heal their past traumas by using Somatic therapy.
While Michelle's story makes us all smile and cheer her on, the truth is that we're all Michelle in some way. We've all lost ourselves at some point on our journey and we can all reclaim our power over our own lives by using Self-Care. Thousands of women already have, and you can too. Are you ready? Join us on your journey today.
“Definitely the Confidence Series!”