From Over Stressed to Giving Less F#cks

Meet Courtney

Courtney is a familiar face in our Sanity & Self community as she volunteers to host our in-community book club every month. She's also one of those bright faces you look forward to seeing in the community and one that so willingly shares her been-there-done-that wisdom with other women who are on their own journey. She's the type of woman who you tend to look at and think she's got it all figured out, but she'll be the first to tell you she's a work-in-progress just like the rest of us and while she's come a long way she's not done traveling her path just yet.

When Bubble Baths Weren't Enough

Before finding Sanity & Self Courtney did little things to help her self-care needs, she'd take long baths soaking in Epsom salt to relax her sore & tired muscles, she read (a lot, see the book club mention above) and she slept. When she realized she needed more than those basic self-care comforts she was in a job she didn't like, trying hard to stick it out until she found a new, better job and not just quit the one she had. She and her boyfriend had just adopted a puppy so that was a source of joy, but also an added bit of chaos to her already stressful day. She knew she wanted to make a career leap and work as a correction's officer, which is definitely a male-dominated field but is also one she felt called to be in.

When she downloaded Sanity & Self one of the first things she listened to was Airial Clark's "Give Less F#cks, Live More Life" and she felt a connection to Airial's raw and honest style of speaking. While Courtney considers herself to be someone who always appeared to not care, or in Airial's words, not give too many F#cks, she knows that on the inside she really cared far too much about too many things. For example, at work, if her supervisor or colleague would give her negative feedback she knows she took it far too personally. She was really hard on herself and always aimed at perfection. She found herself attaching so much weight to that comment that her self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence would plummet as a result.

Now she owns her mistakes, apologizes when she needs to and moves on. Her confidence is so great now that she realizes one mistake isn't enough to change someone's perception of her, and even if it does, she's not so worried about what others think that it outweighs how she feels about herself. Listening to Airial's series she felt free and empowered to care a little less (or not at all) about what other people thought about her, what other people's opinions were, how they looked at her or anything else, was something she could choose whether to care about or not to care about at all. The decision was hers, and this was a new way of she quickly decided to adopt. 

Before Sanity and Self, I would take every little criticism I receive at work to heart. It would eat me up for days and make me have terrible anxiety. Because of one comment, my self-worth would plummet because I was not perfect or I made a small mistake. Now, I brush it off and promise to do better next time. Worrying and letting a comment eat me alive will not allow me to progress.
— Courtney's Old Thinking
Now, I just apologize, if necessary, because Airial has taught me not to apologize for my presence, and try my best the next time. My best is all I have to give to others. Literally not caring about what others think, say, and feel about you is liberating.
— Courtney's New Thinking

“I have realized that my self-care does not have to look like everyone else's self-care.”

The Girl's Got Goals - And Self-Care One

Now if you ask Courtney what her goals for the future are you might find yourself listening to a pretty long list. Broken down by category and priority, of course. She's got the biggies, the top 10's as she calls them, and the "someday after I retire" type of goals which include combining her passion for travel and her love for books into a post-retirement career of owning a travel book store. Courtney's confidence is inspiring, and she's more than willing to credit self-care for the way she walks the walk and talks the talk today. She knows that self-care can be–should be–as unique as the person who is seeking it. Her self-care is hers, and she doesn't need it to be a one-size-fits-all situation.

Courtney Recommends

Melanie Dewberry's Spirituality Series "Soul Food"

“I think that Staying True to Yourself has helped me the most. It is a series that is relevant to the time. We are pulled in so many directions and have so many influences that it is hard to own your space and really figure out who you are. Melanie gives tactical advice on how to find and embrace the true self.”